<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>It Makes an Ass out of You and Me by ohnonotthemagain</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26887654">It Makes an Ass out of You and Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnonotthemagain/pseuds/ohnonotthemagain'>ohnonotthemagain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DuckTales (Cartoon 2017), The Three Caballeros (1944)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Assumptions, Donald is a bisexual disaster, Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Swearing, Triple Drabble, first one ended up being way longer than the other two rip, more characters than that technically but those are the ones that actually have lines</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:21:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26887654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnonotthemagain/pseuds/ohnonotthemagain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When you spend eleven years on the moon, you tend to make some assumptions about the things that have happened since you left.</p><p>Aka: Three related but unconnected oneshots of Della vastly overestimating Donald's romantic capabilities.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>José Carioca/Donald Duck/Panchito Pistoles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It Makes an Ass out of You and Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>shoutout to Ashe who gave me the ego boost I needed to finish this &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Don. Can I ask you something?” Della asked.</p><p>Donald didn’t look up from the vase he was dusting. “Sure.”</p><p>“Why haven’t you married them yet?”</p><p>He paused, a hint of blush on his face. “...married who?”</p><p>Della tilted her head in confusion. “José and Panchito? Your boyfriends?”</p><p>Donald’s face went as red as a certain rooster’s as he looked at her, terrified. Whatever he was trying to say came out as flustered gibberish.</p><p>She held in a laugh and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, calm down! I was just wondering. It’s been so long, I just wanted to…” She trailed off, and her realization hit like a freight train. She’d never seen them holding hands. Or kissing. Or saying I love you. Or anything romantic, really. “<em> Oh. </em> Oh, please tell me you’re actually dating them.”</p><p>“Why… would you think…”</p><p>Now Della’s face was as red as Donald’s. “Because you were extremely obvious about your crush on them and it’s been eleven years, okay?! I assumed you’d have gotten your shit together by now!”</p><p>Donald was torn between being flattered (who knew Della had so much faith in him?), miserable (she had a point, eleven years was a long time...) and wanting to strangle her (for obvious reasons).</p><p>He settled on locking her out of the houseboat.</p><p>---</p><p>Della stood in the doorway and cleared her throat. The kids all looked like they got caught doing something illegal. “So… what're you guys talking about?”</p><p>There was a bit of hesitation as they all glanced at each other. Della felt worry building in her throat.</p><p>“Well, we were just wondering…” Huey started slowly.</p><p>“Does Uncle Donald like guys?” Dewey asked.</p><p>Della was quiet. Then she smiled. Then she started laughing. “Oh, you had me worried there with how quiet you were!” She rested an arm against the doorway and shook her head, still chuckling. “<em> Of course </em> he likes guys! He has boyfriends!”</p><p>“...why are you looking at me like that?”</p><p>---</p><p>“You know, Uncle Scrooge, it was really nice of you to let Donald’s boyfriends stay here for free-”</p><p>Scrooge spat his tea all over his newspaper. Della jumped back and stared at her uncle with wide eyes.</p><p>He wiped the tea from his beak and tried to process what Della just said. “...You mean José and Panchito?”</p><p>“Well, yeah? Who else?”</p><p>“<span>They… uh.” He wondered what happened to make her think that. And why he, of all people, was the one who had to explain this to her. “Della, they aren’t boyfriends.”</span></p><p>Della gasped. “They’re <em> married?!” </em> She slammed her hands on his desk in excitement. “Sorry, I didn’t see any rings so I kinda just assumed. That’s adorable! Wait, when was the wedding? Do you have pictures? Which of the kids was the ring bearer? Was it all three?!”</p><p>Scrooge groaned and buried his head in his hands. This was... going to be a long conversation.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>